The thing about perfectionists, those that constantly strive for flawlessness, success and the absolute best in everything they do, is that behind the glossy exterior, they are generally dissatisfied and unhappy with life.
Constantly striving for more and leaving little time to stop and smell the roses, perfectionism is an exhausting feat that can spiral out of control, affecting self-worth and sometimes leading to more serious issues like depression and eating disorders.
Fuelling the perfectionists are those around them, providing the approval, acceptance and praise they yearn for. Praise is not typically counterproductive but for the perfectionist it reaffirms insecurities based on the need to achieve the best, to be worthy.
Living in constant fear of falling short or making a mistake, the perfectionist can live with high levels of anxiety and stress often leading to other mental health issue. Striving for perfection is simply not sustainable; it’s a completely subjective and abstract notion that defies the meaning of being human. Recognising this and showing yourself the compassion, you would to others, is the first step to your personal peace treaty.
Being mindful and appreciating the present, is not something perfectionists are renown for. Rather than forecasting the next goal to kick, sit back for a minute and give yourself a pat on the back for what you have achieved, remembering that you don’t need the approval of others if you have self-approval.
Perfectionist or not, sometimes, we all need a bit of perspective. Taking a break from it all, provides the time and space to appreciate yourself and think more positively about what you have achieved. While you are having a break from ‘it all’, consider a new life project, that is practicing self-compassion. Commit to this with gusto, like you would anything else, and you will soon reap the rewards of being at peace with yourself.
Being motivated to achieve your best at work, home or within oneself is an admirable human trait. However, understanding and defining what is your personal best and accepting that it might not be ‘perfect’ may unlock a new level of self-worth and personal fulfilment. In the words of a disney Ice Queen; “Let it go”!
If you need help with personal challenges and unlocking your inner wealth, visit our website to read about our team of experienced clinical psychologists.