What is Values-Based Living?
By Dr Stan Steindl
Values-based living is a psychological approach that encourages people to align their actions with what truly matters to them—their values. It forms a central part of therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and is increasingly recognised as a powerful way to promote wellbeing, resilience, and a sense of meaning in life.
At its core, values-based living asks: “What kind of person do I want to be?” and “What sort of life do I want to build?” By clarifying values and making choices that reflect them, people can move forward even in the presence of difficult thoughts, emotions, or circumstances.
“Living by your values doesn’t mean life will be easy,” says Dr Stan Steindl, Clinical Psychologist. “But it does mean that your efforts and struggles are guided by what’s important to you—and that gives a sense of direction and purpose.”
What Are Values?
In psychology, values are not goals or outcomes, but ongoing qualities of action. They’re like a compass—something to guide you through life, even when the road is rough.
Some examples of values include:
- Being honest and authentic
- Caring for family
- Contributing to community
- Learning and growing
- Living with kindness and compassion
- Being adventurous or open-minded
Values are deeply personal. What matters most to one person may be very different for another. The key is identifying what is genuinely meaningful to you—not what others expect, or what seems impressive on paper.
Values vs. Goals
Values and goals work together, but they’re not the same. Think of a value as a direction (e.g., “heading west”) and a goal as a destination along the way (e.g., “reach the lookout”).
You can achieve a goal and tick it off, but you never finish a value—you live it, moment by moment, decision by decision.
“If honesty is a value, you can live it in every conversation,” explains Dr Steindl. “If compassion is a value, you can practise it with yourself and others—again and again.”
How Values-Based Living Supports Mental Health
Values-based living helps people:
- Find motivation when struggling with low mood, anxiety, or burnout
- Make decisions when faced with uncertainty or ambivalence
- Tolerate discomfort when moving through challenging emotions or situations
- Feel connected to a deeper sense of purpose
- Build consistency between their actions and identity
This approach is particularly powerful when people feel stuck, lost, or disconnected from what brings them joy or meaning.
In therapy, clients might be invited to explore:
- What do you want to stand for in life?
- When do you feel most like your true self?
- What do you want to be remembered for?
These questions don’t have right or wrong answers—but they do open the door to clarity and direction.
Putting Values into Action
Knowing your values is just the first step. The next is committed action—taking steps, however small, that move you toward those values.
For example:
- If you value connection, you might call a friend, even if you feel tired.
- If you value health, you might go for a walk, even if anxiety says “stay home.”
- If you value creativity, you might pick up your guitar again, even if self-doubt lingers.
Values-based living doesn’t require perfect motivation or confidence—it requires intention, courage, and willingness.
“Often the most meaningful actions are the ones we take even when it’s hard,” says Dr Steindl. “That’s the beauty of values—they help us keep going.”
Common Challenges and How to Work Through Them
It’s normal to face obstacles when trying to live by your values. You might:
- Feel unsure about what your values are
- Struggle with fear or self-criticism when taking action
- Worry about what others will think
- Get pulled back into old habits or avoidance
Therapy can help by:
- Clarifying values through reflective exercises and discussion
- Exploring the fears, thoughts, or emotional blocks that get in the way
- Building skills to take consistent, values-aligned action
- Cultivating self-compassion when you fall short (as we all do)
Values-based living is not about being perfect. It’s about turning toward what matters, again and again, with as much care and courage as you can muster.
Final Thoughts
Values-based living offers something profound: a way to navigate life that is grounded in personal meaning. It’s not about chasing happiness or avoiding pain. It’s about living with integrity, depth, and direction—even in the face of life’s inevitable challenges.
“When we’re clear on what matters, we suffer less pointlessly,” reflects Dr Steindl. “Pain becomes part of a meaningful journey, not something to fear or avoid.”
If you’re curious about discovering or reconnecting with your values, a psychologist trained in ACT or values-based approaches can help. You may find that the path forward has been there all along—guided not by perfection, but by purpose.