What’s Your Object of Compassion?
By Dr Stan Steindl
In the midst of a busy or difficult moment, it can be surprisingly helpful to have a small, physical object to return to—something that evokes feelings of calm, safety, and support. At Psychology Consultants, we often talk with clients about practical ways to access their inner resources and regulate emotions. One of those ways involves the power of meaningful objects.
In Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), there’s an imagery exercise known as the Compassionate Friend. It invites individuals to imagine being visited by a figure—real or imagined—who embodies compassion, wisdom, strength, and care. This compassionate figure offers words of support, but also gives a small symbolic gift—an object that holds emotional significance.
Over the years, people have imagined receiving all sorts of things: a favourite childhood book, a smooth stone, a grandfather’s watch, a tiny wooden toy. These are more than sentimental keepsakes—they become emotional anchors. Tangible reminders of warmth, connection, and reassurance.
And that raises a meaningful question:
What if you had an actual object of compassion?
Something you could keep close, turn to when needed, and allow to gently guide you back to a sense of calm and care?
Here are three such objects that serve that purpose in my own life.
1. A Cup from Bruno
A simple mug sits in my kitchen. It reads: “Loved by a Labrador.”
It always makes me smile. It reminds me of our old dog Bruno—gentle, loyal, and goofy. But more than anything, he was a quiet emotional companion. He’d sit close when I was stressed, rest his head on my knee, and bring a kind of grounding presence that felt calming without ever needing words.
This mug connects me to that sense of being loved. Even now, long after Bruno is gone, it helps me remember that love endures—and that I can draw on that feeling in challenging moments.
2. A Childhood Koala
I still have a small koala toy from when I was very young, possibly bought from a visit to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary in Brisbane. It’s a little threadbare, one eye slightly askew, and worn with age.
And yet, when I hold it in my hand, I’m reminded of safety. Of being soothed as a child. Of small moments of comfort and familiarity. There’s something about its weight and softness that brings me back to those quiet, safe spaces in early life—places where I didn’t have to try so hard, where I could simply rest.
3. The Here-and-Now Stone
During a mindfulness retreat many years ago, I was invited to select a stone from a large bowl—whichever one I felt drawn to. I chose a small, smooth, jade-green stone with intricate patterns across its surface. It quickly became my “here-and-now” stone.
To this day, I keep it in my pocket, on my desk, or in my hand before a session. It’s a tactile reminder to pause, breathe, and return to the present moment. When life becomes busy or overwhelming, the stone grounds me. It says: This moment is enough.
Why This Matters
These objects are meaningful to me, but the principle is universal. Our brains are wired to respond to physical cues. When we’re stressed, anxious, or ashamed, a familiar object can activate our soothing system, provide a sense of continuity, and gently shift our emotional state.
“Objects of compassion” act as cues for safety. They remind us we are supported, that we matter, and that we have the capacity to offer care to ourselves—even when life feels difficult.
What About You?
Is there something in your life that helps you reconnect with compassion? A photo, a shell, a piece of jewellery, a handwritten note? Something someone gave you at just the right time—or something you found when you needed it most?
Take a moment with that object. Hold it. Let yourself feel what it evokes. Let it be a doorway back to calm, care, and connection. And if you don’t yet have such an object, that’s okay too. Be curious. Often, the right object finds us when we need it most.
At Psychology Consultants, we encourage practical tools like these—grounded in evidence-based therapies—to help support emotional wellbeing in everyday life. Whether through imagery, mindfulness, or physical reminders of care, compassion can be cultivated in real and meaningful ways.
You are not alone. And even small things—a smooth stone, a faded toy, a simple mug—can hold great power when they connect us back to that truth.
Watch Stans episode of “What’s your object of Compassion” on his Compassion in a T-Shirt YouTube channel: